Unbelievable….I don’t even know where to begin….10 years ago I lost my hero, my best friend, my faith encourager, my…”remember, there is a positive side to everything Treena you just have to find it” positive thinker, my coach in a lot of things (including sports) , and much much more, but most importantly she was MY MOTHER!
Obviously, I still miss her so much daily and love her so much…I think about her all the time and what she would do. I don’t really know how to put this, only someone who has experienced the loss of a close loved one can really relate I think, but there will always be a hole in my heart since this day happened 10 years ago. The “connection” will never go away, it will always be there, for this I am thankful. How do you deal with the loss of a loved one? Mostly what helped me is 5 things: 1)Faith 2)Family 3)Friends 4)Knowing she is in a better place and no longer suffering 5)and Knowing I know have a very special guardian angel to watch over me in everything I do. The pain never goes away, it just gets a little easier as time goes on to deal with I guess. To me, I look at it now as I am thankful for my mother, my guardian angel who is with me everywhere I go no matter what. I believe she still sees whats going on down here on earth and is with me every step of the way. I hold on to all those precious memories and pictures and think to myself “What great times we had” and I am thankful for that. Memories, this is what I will always cherish and am so thankful for.
The toughest part for me is when I am in those situations and you just want your mother to be there to talk to and guide you. Just one more conversation is what you will always think. “Man, I really wish my mother was here to talk to and discuss this with, she would know exactly what to do.” There is and should always be a special connection between and mother and her daughter that no one else has. I am so thankful for my mother and her guidance for the 19 years she was here on Earth with me. Yes, yes I wish in those certain special situations where a daughter just wants to talk to her mom about it she was here, but for whatever reason God had a different plan. We may not always know what God’s plan is or why, but we are not supposed to ask why we are just supposed to trust in Him and know He is in control.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. ” -Proverbs 3:5-6 – My all time favorite verse.
I have several great memories with my mother. She was there with me through a lot of things and a lot more than some parents could be and I am thankful for that. Mom was my coach in softball most of my life; she was my coach in soccer most of the time; she was the youth leader at my church most of the time I was in youth, etc…needless to say she was always there for me whenever/wherever she could be until she was too sick to and had to give up some things unfortunately, but I guarantee if at all possible she was on the sidelines cheering me on and helping me out if she could, the best fan an athlete could ask for. I will never forget the time it was just a couple games after she had passed away (she passed away while I was playing college softball) and I was up to bat and I had been struggling a little bit with batting but this time it was if she was right there with me and whispered in my ear, “Come on Treena, you can do this, you got it, keep your eye on the ball.” and sure enough, Wham! Line drive right between the third basemen and shortstop, good hit. From then on out I felt my hitting just kept improving. I played me heart out for her even after she passed away, that is what she would have wanted and she knew how much I enjoyed sports. I also will never forget the day of her funeral so many people came to show how much they care and I am so thankful, I will never forget the moment I seen my whole college softball team come through that door together, oh breathtaking and meant so much. Also, when my summer ball team donated to me all the trophies we had earned throughout life as a team with my mother as our coach, just so many things that meant so much. I truly love each and every person that was there from me throughout the whole thing, meant so much. Oh so many people’s lives that my mother had touched that I didn’t even realize, and oh how much she touched their lives, true hero/blessing to many. I hope that I can live to be half the woman my mother was and make her proud.
Some of my best personal memories with my mother were our one on one talks at the Lake while we would just swing away. We loved going there to swing and talk, such a blessing. I remember we each had a branch with leaves up in the air in front of our feet we would try to touch with our toes while swinging as high as we could. We had several deep talks there. Every since I absolutely love swinging, swingset, wood swing, tire swing, unique swing, doesn’t matter I love it. Did you know though one of the coolest swings I ever got to swing in was in Northern Ireland right by the ocean; that was the best swing ever, I want a swing like that. The best times though were those cherished moments with my mother swinging.
I will never forget the day my dad, brother, and I were at home and we had to break the news to my mother that the brain tumor was no longer benign it was now malignant, the first words out of her mouth were, “Well I don’t really like that, I want to live to see my grandkids someday.” Well mom I am here now to tell you your grandkid from Josh and I is on the way, even though you are not here on Earth to share this special time with us and your grandkid you will still be strongly talked about and our kid will know how awesome a person you were with your time here on Earth with us. I hope I can have the relationship with my kid that I had with you. I hope to be as good of a mother to my child as you were yours. I will try to follow in your footsteps and with the type of guidance you taught me.
There are things in life that occur that we may never understand but for the others here with us that need us we must keep going. Always remember God knows and that’s what matters.
Do me a favor please? To those of you who still have your parents and or loved ones squeeze them extra tight tonight, give them lots of kisses, and just let them know how much they truly mean to you because you never know when someone is going to take their last breath. Maybe your not getting along as well with someone as you would like, make mends meet and show them how much your truly care and love them, live life with no regrets!
Mom, I miss you so much and I love you so much and I can’t wait to see you again someday in heaven!
